Self-Compassion
Being kind to yourself is essential. Try our self-care reflection guides, Compassion-Focused Therapy tools, and access wellbeing apps to build everyday habits of kindness towards yourself.
Self-compassion matters. We may feel we do not deserve the ‘luxury’ of self-compassion and self-care when others around us at home and at work appear to need it even more than we do. However, one does not exclude the other. In fact, appreciating and acknowledging our own vulnerability and wellbeing needs, allows us to respond with more empathy and understanding for others.
We might worry that we are going to feel more vulnerable by acknowledging our own wellbeing needs to ourselves or others. Of course, that might happen, coaches and psychotherapists call this ‘being with your feelings’. It is not always comfortable but sometimes we have to identify and name the emotions, thoughts, and feelings we are experiencing to acknowledge we need to make changes for ourselves or to decide to ask for the support and help we really need.
There are biological and physiological determinates of brain and body health including our genes, hormones, and our immune system however there are wellbeing strategies which are within our control and which support us to perform at our best e.g. good nutrition, exercise, rest, sleep, and hydration.
Below are some quick wins to start a process of self-compassion.
- A two-minute walk (exercise) every 30 minutes maintains optimum blood flow to the brain and so cognitive function throughout the working day. If you look at a screen much of the day, moving around is a bonus for eye health and wards off stiffness and fatigue too. At the very least set a timer, get up stretch and move every half an hour.
- Take a ‘mental health micro break’ and look through a window at a green environment. Research shows visual contact with the natural world can help top up your energy and mood resources – it is called biophilia. Investing in a pot plant for the home office can also support your wellbeing and even looking at a picture of nature on your phone can help.
- We naturally sigh when we are tired or fed up. Try taking a shorter in breath and letting out a longer outbreath. There is evidence to show this ‘shape’ of breathing when repeated a few times leads to a reduction in blood pressure and heart rate. (Not recommended for anyone with low blood pressure or breathing issues.) This is a quick way to set up for a challenging call or meeting and even consciously relaxing your shoulders, jaw and hands helps de-stress in the moment.
- Remember to hydrate regularly yet avoid any caffeinated drinks after midday: caffeine has ¼ life which means by midnight you could still have the equivalent of ¼ of a cup of black coffee in your bloodstream if you drink coke/coffee with your lunch. This can affect your ability to fall asleep and reduce your sleep.
- Take a walk outside in daylight around lunchtime and you will sleep better. A lack of bright natural light exposure during the day can result in disruption of the circadian system and lead to feelings of depression, poor sleep quality, lethargy, and even illness.
- Rest can be active: reading, walking, painting, or passive, watching the TV, listening to a podcast. ‘Busyness’ is not a badge of honour and we will never complete our to do lists so taking a rest does not equate to being lazy rather it is the chance to be mindful or to shift our attention from work to self. Turning off our mobiles when we are resting will make this even more powerful.
At times of extreme pressure, we may feel we just do not have the energy to focus on anything but ‘maintenance care’. Constant coffee or energy drinks, snacking on sugary foods and having alcohol to help us relax in front of TV can be great to get us through a challenging time. However, we must beware of using ‘maintenance care’ as a long-term strategy. If you are stuck in a habit like this try some small changes first, too much change in one go can be destabilising.
